


The Golden Boy

by ithappenedonenight



Category: Primeval
Genre: Employee revolt, Gen, Lester knows best, Office Supplies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 17:14:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14501742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ithappenedonenight/pseuds/ithappenedonenight
Summary: Lester has a red pen and knows how to use it. Much to the dismay of his trusty team.





	The Golden Boy

Jenny Lewis barged into Lester’s office and threw the two halves of her once beautiful Jimmy Choos on his desk.

“What do you mean,” she said slowly, enunciating each word, “by this.” The item in question was a neatly printed sheet of paper with DENIED scrawled in big red letters at the top.

“I would think it was fairly self-explanatory,” Lester said, admiring his handiwork. “And while I appreciate your commitment to always dressing like a consummate professional, there is just no way that this office is going to reimburse you 500 pounds for a pair of shoes that may or may not have been destroyed on the job.”

“They were eaten by a triceratops,” Jenny said. 

“Pentaceratops,” Nick corrected from the doorway. “And there’s a reason that the rest of us wear boots.”

He too was holding a slip of paper that he brandished unhappily as he drew closer to Lester.

“What I’d like to know is how exactly I’m supposed to improve the anomaly detection device if you’re not going to authorize the equipment that we need,” Nick said.

“If I remember correctly, Connor built the last version with supplies he found in storage and items stolen from the locker room,” Lester said. “Making your latest request a 7000% increase in funds with no actual justification.”

“You know as well as I do that it was just a prototype,” Nick began, but was cut off by Connor and Abby who entered talking simultaneously.

“Hydroponics will enable -- essential platform upgrade -- formative plantlife -- crucial firewall,” they said, their words blending together in clunky mismatch of adjectives and unhappiness. They too were waving red-marked sheets of paper.

“I don’t know why I even bother having a door,” Lester said into the chaos. 

“It’s your own fault,” said Nick. “Everyone here has valid requests. Well, almost everyone.” Jenny shot him a look that roughly translated into YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS LATER, NICK CUTTER. Nick continued, invoking a higher power, “If the minister seriously expects results, he has to enable us to do the research that generates those results. And that research requires funds.”

Stephen walked into the room whistling and then stopped, noticing the unhappy crowd.

“Uh, sorry, is this a bad time?” he asked.

“What did he take from you?” Connor asked conspiratorially, not bothering to lower his voice. 

“Nothing actually, I just came in to say thanks for the new spearguns,” Stephan said, and nodded at Lester. “They’re even nicer than I expected.” 

Lester allowed the ensuing cries to continue for a full sixty seconds before dropping his very large, very heavy copy of the OED (reserved for occasions like this one) onto the desk. Attention captured, Lester calmly addressed the group. 

“Stephen shows up to work on time. Stephen consistently fills out his mission reports and--” with a glare in Connor’s direction, “even spell checks them. Stephen does not make comments about my suspenders. Stephen only expenses mission-critical items. Stephen does not waste government time. Please, be like Stephen.”

The team swiveled on poor, perfect Stephen who hurriedly backed out the same way that he had come, the others close on his heels.

“Do you think that will actually work?” asked Leek from the shadows, observing the exodus. 

“Oh not a bit,” replied Lester. “But Stephen stole my yogurt out of the breakroom fridge last week. This was about revenge.”


End file.
